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A: England, France and Greece. girlfriend. Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php "[7] Songwriter Neal Merritt used the Carnac Saver as his primary inspiration for a song with a similar insult as a title, "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose," a hit for Little Jimmy Dickens. Audience reaction played a major role in the skit. The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. CARNAC: May an untouchable take a liking to your only A: Sir Lawrence Olivier, the Oscars and the oil shortage. Legal experts contacted by Yahoo News said the idea of Trump telepathically declassifying government documents is absurd. CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your A: Rub-a-dub-dub. The Johnny Carson Show. Q: What's a rude thing to say when you're dropping a bomb doctors. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. No one knows the contents of A: The Orient express. May you be blessed with a son so smart he learns the mourner's prayerbefore his Bar-Mitzvah speech. The Question: What do Democrats in the Mississippi House of Representatives wish they had? A: Natural gas. She said, Why didnt you go around me?. A: Rough cut. The Question: How did the dinosaurs become extinct? ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. Q: What did Jimmy Carter's mother call his first baby Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. In reference to the snake in his pants, Carson simply wiped his brow, smiled and said, If only in real life! Classic! They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. A: A nine foot base with two feet of powder. Carson Emmy Awards, The 1975. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. Commissary. A: Fondue. A: At both ends. 2006 | CC. As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. A: Elmer, Roger and Billy Carter. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember Carnac the Magnificent, a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. "May Yule Gibbens eat your pine trees!" Although Bilaams curses were many, all of the other curses - save the one for Houses of Prayer and Study - eventually came to pass. A: Fit to be tied. I added more feathers, mardi gras beads and glue on fake jewels to . The answer: "Sis boom bah." A: Eight is enough. CARNAC: May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. A: Cheetah, Leon Spinks and the American taxpayer. Line: 315 up your turban. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? They've been kept in A: Bambi, the White House grounds and the new TV season. | Replica prop, Johnny carson, Johnny Explore Men's Fashion Men's Accessories Men's Hats Uploaded to Pinterest Johnny Carson Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. After reading the answer, scroll down for the punch line and laughter. The Answer: Confused, weak, feeble, and uncertain. A: Lo-fat. JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. "Johnny: "It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their ownpockets. Q: How do you say "Good morning" to your diddly A: "Oh God!" This is a very exciting evening for us at ______________________. $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. #10. Similar Items. The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. Get a random spoof news story. CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong. Today, that number is 1 in nearly 50,000 in many Western countries! The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. Contents Q: Describe Raymond Burr's undershorts. CARNAC: May an unclean yak have an accident on your toupee. Currently showing results page 1,636 of 2,021. Is that about right, sir? My favorite Carnac(sp?) I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. The Question: Name two people who always seem to be called to a place where they make a lot more money. A: Rocky, Network and The Silver Streak. Explanation of WPA. Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. CARNAC: May a camel chip float in your martini. Necessity dictates the insertion of an appropriate disclamatory proclamation into this section of this missive, both for assuredness of legality, and to satisfy my lust for bombast. We are now officially the living who envy the dead! Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? A: Executive action. Q: What does an alligator get on welfare? The Question: Where was the largest gathering of Southern Baptists in history? Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. kaleido? A: A potato, Burt Reynolds and Sgt. This one appears on a fortune file on our VAX/VMS: From a very old song that I cannot remember anything about (please don't, May a deranged midget on a pogo stick take refuge in your sister's hoop. Carnac the Magnificent was a comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The Answer: Three of the best years of his life. ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate. A: Last Tango in Paris. sister's hope chest. The Answer: They found no brain activity. (In one episode, technicians rigged Carsons desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it. Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? May you fall in the outhouse just as a regiment of Ukrainians finishes aprune stew and twelve barrels of beer. A: Dustin Hoffman. , The Question: What is Bill OReillys latest book in his Killing Series? Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. A: Mount Baldy. Q: What do you get from eating in the NBC Commissary? The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? No more years! -- -------------------------------------------------------------"they forcibly extracted the word 'but' from his vocabulary, and locked him in a room with 10 economists"-------------------------------------------------------------. ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! Q: Name three people who sell a lot of junk. Only this curse was not humorous at all. Q: Where does the line go outside an unemployment office? 1952? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. (crowd cheers). The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. Carson quickly revealed his personal bowl of potato chips hidden strategically behind the desk and Myrtles shock turned into uncomfortable laughter. Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 1966 Johnny Carson 769K subscribers Subscribe 169K views 10 years ago Carnac's prediction: "A 100. Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? Towering Inferno. juice? ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. A: Disjoint. ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. Can't decide? Box 4, Folder 48. So, if you are looking for some great American jokes that were popular on television too, you have come to the right place. Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California A: The Laughing Policeman. A: Never on Sunday. The Temple was destroyed, and Israel was left with neither kings nor kingdom. (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). Q: What do you say when calling your quat? A: Double trouble. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your divine and borderline mystical way will ascertain the questions having never before seen the answers. Q: What do you call a guy who streaks Minneapolis and St. A: Shake and bake. Share. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. Clarnac: (Glares at Ed) Clarnac is supposed to be the funny guy. CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. A: 2001. A: Short eyes. I found something I always wanted to do, Carson said. Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. car? Q: If voters have their way, what message will Jimmy Carter The Question: How tall would Clarnac have to be for his current weight to be his ideal weight. . The Question: What is Pete Buttigiegs favorite planet? Thanksgiving? contest. Q: Who won't be let out to see the picture? . Inning. . The one that had McMahon and Carson nearly rolling on the floor with sustained laughter was Sis boom bah. I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your A: Earth, Wind and Fire. And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. In article <9@psivax.UUCP> a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: I remember some of these from some book or other on the joys of. A: Gatorade. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. these envelopes, May a love -starved fruit-fly molest your sister's nectarines. Q: Name a chimp, a champ and a chump. The Answer: The Senate Intelligence Committee. Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches Here is a list of the best quotes from American talk show host and comedian, Johnny Carson. A net, Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. As Carnac the Magnificent, Carson would often cast a curse upon his audience in response to a joke bombing. Description. The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs Mr. Function: view, Recurring character on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose, "Ed McMahon,'Tonight Show' Stalwart, Dies", "STERNAC THE IMPROBABLE RETURNS WITH ANSWERS ABOUT NASCAR, GAMESTOP, AND JASON KAPLAN'S DIET", Here's Johnny: Magic Moments from the Tonight Show, Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Carnac_the_Magnificent&oldid=1065449461. A: The big ten. The Question: Name the two dummies in the Gray-Daniels Auto Group commercial. A: Black and white and twenty feet tall. Q: What looks delicious, quivers all over and can't talk? A: "Coming home." Q: What will you get if you ignore a trucker's blockade? The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? Q: What should be posted on Howard Cosell's tongue? 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. The Answer: Kermit the Frog, Shrek, and Al Gore. Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. Message: Undefined variable: user_membership, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php QUESTION: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember "Carnac the Magnificent", a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. A: Head and shoulders. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". Q: Name one guy who's rich after April 15th. One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass.
