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As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you. You have no choice! 0000002803 00000 n They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want: They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. ', And let's not forget the humblebrags. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. But a comedian has the ability to use their anger and intelligence to refocus and reconstruct their pain into entertainment. If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. I, on the other handwho did not votewho did not votewho, in fact, did not even leave the house on Election Day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain as loud as I want about the mess you created that I had nothing to do with. 4 Mar. It's supposed to connect you with other people, but it's just a way of avoiding real human contact. 184 0 obj THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. Here's a transcript of a segment where he talks about it: "Social media, what a crock of shit that is. He often spoke about his youth in Catholic school and, as a result of his particular schools relatively liberal approach to education, he says, he was given the intellectual freedom to eventually reject the faith. Maybe you'll find some of the features useful , Ignore this comment if your post doesn't have a prompt. 0000082419 00000 n This is the kind of shit youd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. I on the other hand, who did not vote, WHO DID NOT VOTE. The transcripts I could find always sucked. I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET. Such a nice touch. Forget the politicians. Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features. George Carlin Interview Transcription: George Carlin: This is George Carlin. So maybe maybe MAYBE, its not the politicians who suck. Maybe two hundred thousand? It's like we're all living in a never-ending episode of MTV Cribs. OR: I WAS QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. endstream People go on there, they play with the animals, they pet them, they feed them, but they don't get any real interaction. He was known for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and taboo subjects. Several reasons. Politicians have traditionally hidden behind three things, the flag, the Bible and children. I show how there is no direct way to escape politicizing . A friend is someone you can count on. Regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians of all time, he was dubbed "the dean of counterculture comedians". He discusses political stance and also societal beliefs on the environment, and the Earth's resilience towards bombardment by pollution. We dont have people like that in this country. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. << /Length 5 0 R /Filter /FlateDecode >> They come from American parents, American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, American universities, and theyre elected by American citizens. In this paper, I examine George Carlin's stance on . Our country is failing because the majority of the people are selfish. They dont care about you at all at all AT ALL. Cause Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality. That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." He missed this one. They don't care about the planet. 203 0 obj But that would be much too direct! 2023. What? "I don't believe anything the government tells me." - George Carlin 02. "No child left behind. 0000001412 00000 n No contest. People post pictures of themselves and their lives, trying to create a narrative that they're happy, successful, and popular. <>/MediaBox[0 0 612 792]/Parent 175 0 R/Resources<>/Font<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageC]/XObject<>>>/Rotate 0/StructParents 0/Tabs/S/Type/Page>> Theyll get it. That's a big activity here in Washington! People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. The Secret News (News ticker sound effect), Type out all lyrics, even repeating song parts like the chorus, Lyrics should be broken down into individual lines. Let's get started! People just spewing their uninformed opinions and insults at each other. <>stream Such as the PROCESS: POLITICIAN:WE HAVE TO MOVE THE PROCESS FORWARD SO WE CAN IMPLEMENT THE PROVISIONS OF THE INITIATIVE IN ORDER TO MEET THESE CHALLENGES. I dont always agree with everything he says, but I always listen. And let's not forget about YouTube. xWnF}WDh%&^6F%&T{84e[A0@-3wUr-*l:, XF{HT+T0?LL q8"y1yY0LV"vQ|8:GwPBr,&]Qt7oz5n Schedule . they're always PROCEEDING or moving forward. What's with all the selfies? For added emotional impact sons and daughters can always be substituted for men and women and so I think we can sum this up. So if you are easily offended dont click the link. We'll start with the first three, and I'll use the Roman Catholic version because those are the ones I was fed as a little boy. Well, we know what they want. And besides, all of these sites, they're just an illusion. They say, Well, if you dont vote you have no right to complain. But wheres the logic in that? Youre just gunna wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans [leaders]. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) ], Your email address will not be published. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. I'm getting tired of that shit. Nobody seems to care. Difference. George Carlins daughter, @kelly_carlin, on her first radio show with guest Paul Provenza, talking about this routine. And secondly, I dont vote because I believe if you vote you have no right to complain. 188 0 obj And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now theyre coming for your Social Security money. And nobody seems to notice. Dog, Cat, Thinking. The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Youre just going to wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. Oh boy. Before his death in June 2008, comedian George Carlin spent 10 years working on a memoir, Last Words, with his longtime friend Tony Hendra. THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. They're a digital petting zoo. of American cultural paradoxes. 190 0 obj Press J to jump to the feed. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents(digitalcommons@montclair.edu)/Rect[400.0562 72.3516 527.5898 82.8984]/StructParent 7/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Shut the fuck up! From the late 1980s, Carlin's routines focused on sociocultural criticism of American society. Thats against their interests. Unless we think of some way to fight back. The only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im gunna have a little something to show for it, folks.. Anyway enjoy it while it's h. It is a crisis of confidence', Crisis of Confidence speech - 1979 , Jon Stewart: "They responded in five seconds", 9-11 first responders, Address to Congress - 2019, Jacinda Ardern: 'They were New Zealanders. If you are interested in using one of my images for your website, or if you would like a print, please contact me directly (See the Contact tab). THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS . Because if its really just the fault of these politicians, then where are all the other bright people of conscience? e d u / e t d)/Rect[230.8867 233.3227 416.9463 245.0414]/StructParent 4/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> But here's the thing: you don't need social media to be happy. Better yet, and more ironic, 'THEY TWISTED MY WORDS.' So, the next time you're walking around looking at your phone, tweeting and Instagramming and Facebooking, just remember this: you're not living in the real world, you're living in the digital world. I have my ideas. This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. And so when finally all the facts come out and our subject seems quite guilty he employs that sublime use of the passive voice: POLITICIAN:MISTAKES WERE MADE. George Carlin was known for his insightful and humorous observations on modern society, including his thoughts on social media. Everybody complains about politicians. Incidentally, another way of expressing this sentiment is to say we're sending our young men and women to places the average American can't find on the map. (LAUGHS) And we know this must be true because the next thing we hear from him is: POLITICIAN:I JUST WANNA PUT THIS THING BEHIND ME AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE. Im sure as soon as the election is over your country will improve immediately. Here it is: Why are there ten? Its called the American Dream,because you have to be asleep to believe it. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. George has been quoted as calling this his favourite HBO special of them all due to its continuous flow-on nature and high standard of writing. Some parents deserve respect. They dont pass through a membrane from some other reality. Sure, here's a sample transcript of George Carlin talking about social media in one of his stand-up routines: "Let's talk about social media for a minute. Its almost a poetic rap. Then you're just what they're looking for. And so, a long last after each has RESPONDED to the others INITIATIVES and each has REVIEWED the others RESPONSES and everyone has taken a POSITION made a JUDGMENT and offered a RECOMMENDATION. NOW they have to do something! 9 minutes; 13,650 views; May 13, 1999 If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people and they get into office and screw everything up, well, you are responsible for what they have done. Religion. They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. Now normally during peace times the politician would refer to people in the military as: POLITICIAN:OUR YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN STATIONED AROUND THE WORLD. What a great idea. Watching the video and reading the transcript are, interestingly, two different experiences. This is said with a straight face although it's obvious of course that the proposition is stated precisely backwards (LAUGHS). 160 Copy quote. They're your followers. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. So I know that a little later on this year, youre going to have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much. Marc Allan: Good, thanks for calling. But a comedian has the ability to use their anger and intelligence to refocus and reconstruct their pain into entertainment. It's a big club, and you ain't in it. If you can afford a donation, it will help Speakola survive and prosper. Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! Well off-course not only is it possible its inevitable and thats when he's at his very best and that's when he trots out the really good stuff. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way: on election-day, I-STAY-HOME. They got you by the balls. Sure, here's a transcript of George Carlin talking about social media: "Social media, huh? It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. Ive read it dozens of times. People are stupid because, well, people are stupid. Everybodys at the mall, scratchin his ass, pickin his nose, takin his credit card out of his fanny pack and buyin a pair of sneakers with lights in them. So, I know that a little later on this year youre gunna have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much [Bill Clinton v. Bob Dole]. It's like a sewer of hate and stupidity. They don't fall out of the sky. As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you, the only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im going to have a little something to show for it folks. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! 'Look at me, I'm so happy and successful and loved!' His parents split up when he was an infant because his . And it's not just that social media is a distraction from real life, it's also a way of creating a false sense of connection. The PEOPLE are fucked. All day long beating you over the head in their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. George Carlin. But here's the thing: social media isn't real life. He was also known for his outspoken views on government and politics. And we've all bought into it. e d u / e t d / 4 7 1)/Rect[72.0 131.7406 279.0264 143.4594]/StructParent 6/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. 25l`|xs[e>L;}_}S +Fn-RWErk^7=fa,|~'RsiYK@"4W/:iVDrZWV)^:i\9KnwmVYi5v b^mfYN.[ T*gvIc"f=di^fE)SGO I mean, have you ever looked at people's Facebook or Instagram profiles? It's a psychologically satisfying number: the top ten; the ten most wanted; the ten best-dressed. (LAUGHS). They want your retirement money. %%EOF All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. To avoid redundancy in the comments section, we kindly ask /u/arkreder to respond to this comment with the prompt you used to generate the output in this post, so that others may also try it out. Hendra, a writer and comedian, talks with Rebecca . And so, with all of this in mind, folks, I offer you my revised list of the Two Commandments: THOU SHALT KEEP THY RELIGION TO THYSELF! No one has PROBLEMS anymore. Not in the abstract they don't. Tired of that shit. Anthony Hopkins is a pantheist-Catholic-agnostic who believes strongly in God. In 2017, Rolling Stone magazine ranked him second (behind Richard Pryor) on its list of the 50 best stand-up comics of all time. Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and because you and I have at-least one thing in common which is that all of us deal with language all the time, I thought it might be nice today for me to come to you with some of my language complaints, certainly not to blame them on you, although off-course youre implicated. 0000003180 00000 n Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. See they dont READ they REVIEW, they dont have OPINIONS they take POSITIONS, and they dont give ADVISE they make RECOMMENDATIONS. So my advice is this: put down your phone, go outside, and actually live your life. Fuck hope! THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. Everybody's going to save something now. I dont vote. % Here's a transcript of a segment where he talks about it: "Social media, what a crock of shit that is. Given the nature of our current Administration, I thought it timely to revisit what George said years ago (Back In Town HBO Special, 1996) about American politicians and the American people who elect them. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. The politicians, the celebrities, and the lawyers, and although their level of insincerity is astonishing, it's still kinda fun to hear them talk. Difference. Nothing wrong with the planet. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. endobj Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web! You got people walking around bumping into each other, looking down at their phones, tweeting, Instagramming, Facebooking, like they're all little paparazzi. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents()/Rect[72.0 612.5547 302.8926 625.4453]/StructParent 3/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. Required fields are marked *. I just wanna put this thing behind me and get on with my life (CLAPS, LAUGHS). They come from American parents, and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities. Its what our system produces. (LAUGHS). Well, where do people think these politicians come from? BRAND: That's comedian George. It's just a curated version of ourselves that we want to present to the world. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. [wptabtitle]Blog[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][/wptabcontent] Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. Because if it is really just the fault of the politicians then where are all the other bright people of conscience? 0000002288 00000 n He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care about you until you reach military age. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. 0000008961 00000 n You're just trying to impress people you don't even know. Everybody says they suck. endobj Certainly! They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. Something is definitely wrong. George Carlin: Dumb Americans. hb```b``na` cc`ahd`phQD"#. -{- f1^u0`cp@&CUoM;v> ), Stay up to date with the latest Digital Ants Network (DAN) versions in our channel, All of these features are available at no cost to you. And the worst part is that social media has become a platform for outrage and self-righteousness. That's the problem in this country too many people getting on with their lives. If you have selfish, ignorant citizensif you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gunna get selfish, ignorant leaders. Comedian George Carlin addressed members and guests of the National Press Club in Washington, DC. I mean, why do we need to see some idiot eating Tide pods or jumping off a roof into a pool? It's like a bunch of robots pretending to be human. Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York. Here Is What You Support, Stop The Steal! Apparently no one has ever claimed that only a small portion of something (LAUGHS) was blown out of proportion. TOUGH DECISIONS like: POLITICIAN (PLANNING):HOW MUCH SOFT MONEY CAN I EXPECT TO COLLECT IN EXCHANGE FOR MY CORE VALUES? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. Everybodys at the mall scratching his ass, picking his nose, taking out his credit card out of a fannie-pack, and buying a pair of sneakers with lights in them. Power, Politics & American Sports [transcript] [VIDEO CLIP] Jesse Owens: To me, politics has no part to play on the field of strife of . The more we pointed out the foolishness of our "superiors," the more they kept us down. You enjoy yourselves; itll be a lot of fun. Complete biography of George Carlin . And they're all looking for that instant gratification of likes and followers, like it's some kind of digital high-five. 192 0 obj https://ad.style/. And don't even get me started on the whole idea of 'friends' on social media. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Maybe something else sucks around here. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. Are these fucking people kidding me? You know what they want? It would seem to fly in the face of that other rhetorical standby that: POLITICIAN:THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE LOT SMARTER THAN THEY ARE GIVEN CREDIT FOR. You got people posting pictures of their food, their pets, their vacations. He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and hosted the first episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975. As I say, they're my work, they're my . for Caitlin & Johnny - 2015, Korey Soderman (via Kyle): 'All our lives I have used my voice to help Korey express his thoughts, so today, like always, I will be my brothers voice' for Kyle and Jess - 2014, Bruce Springsteen: 'They're keepers of some of the most beautiful sonic architecture in rock and roll', Induction U2 into Rock Hall of Fame - 2005, Olivia Colman: 'Done that bit. This shit they shuffle around every four years? Theres a nice campaign slogan for somebody: the public sucks, fuck hope. It's the perfect name because it's anti-social media. I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. Moses could have carried them down the hill in his pocket. Theres a reason. THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN. George Carlin does not need my platitudes, but I will still proffer them. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money.[6]. BUT WHEN I DO, I'LL ADVISE YOU. From people in all walks of life usually the person in question who has committed some unspeakable act. They are irrelevant. m o n t c l a i r . Real connection comes from being present with other people, from having meaningful conversations, from doing things together. It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. POLITICIAN:WERE ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM AND WE'LL SOON BE PROCEEDING. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. New episode of the podcast is terrific. Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. endobj Fuck em! Carlin took a liberal stance on most things, but generally found politics and politicians corrupt and ridiculous. Speakola is a labour of love and Id be very grateful if you would share, tweet or like it. trailer People are so quick to judge and attack each other over the smallest things. But wheres the logic in that? Nobody seems to care! So, I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way. In fact at this point he might even say: POLITICIAN:I'M WILLING TO TRUST IN THE FAIRNESS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. this is my tribute and way of promoting George Carlin's work. That's why we need people who can make the TOUGH DECISIONS. And of course, they're all looking for that dopamine hit of getting likes and comments from people who agree with them. Apparently, his last ballot was cast in 1972for McGovern. This wiki was last updated on 11 Apr 2012 by: Today we're opening contributions to all readers. Let's all tell each other what we're doing every minute of the day. I dont vote. Its never going to get any better, dont look for it, be happy with what youve got. You, and I, are not in the big club. Thats what the owners count on. Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. It's like they're part of some kind of digital echo chamber. They are us', Address to Parliament following Christchurch massacre - 2019, Dolores Ibrruri: "No Pasarn!, They shall not pass! Now you can just hide behind a screen and fire off your misspelled, grammatically incorrect rants to thousands of strangers. Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? That's a friend. George Carlin: In football, the object is for the quarterback, otherwise known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by . But I'm sure they will still remove this. Well where do people think these politicians come from? I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. I dont vote. startxref Oh, and I cant finish without recommending the routine Carlin calls his Incomplete List of Impolite Words. In particular it's fun to listen to Washington talk. 0000003516 00000 n 186 0 obj Where you calling from today? (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) GEORGE CARLIN, COMEDIAN: Takes the cake! %PDF-1.7 % Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Two reasons. It's all just noise. Good honest hard-working people; white collar, blue collar it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. Theres a reason for this, theres a reason education SUCKS, and its the same reason it will never, ever, EVER be fixed. Whatever happened WellWell he's about to find out! Pfft! <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( \n h t t p s : / / d i g i t a l c o m m o n s . THE FOOD IS GREAT BUT PUBLIC SERVICE IS TERRIBLE. Not on some social media platform where everyone's shouting into the void.". v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves. Maher was raised a Catholic (but has a Jewish mother). Retweets do count. He and his "seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. Vodafone Ad. The truth is, obedience and respect should not be granted automatically. And the problem is, we're comparing our real lives to other people's highlight reels. Comedian George Carlin, who died Sunday of heart failure at 71, was known for an act featuring "seven dirty words" that became the focus of a Supreme Court case. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, actor, author, and social critic. If it's a really serious matter, they make a JUDGMENT: POLITICIAN: I HAVEN'T MADE A JUDGMENT ON THAT. It's like we're living in this weird dystopian future where everyone is constantly monitoring each other, waiting for the opportunity to pounce. 185 0 obj He was raised an Irish Catholic, even an alter boy, and attended a Catholic school until the age of 15, when he dropped out of school.[1]. All rights reserved. Yeah, the public sucks! )'B^E_2yKg&. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. The table has tilted folks. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. It goes WAY beyond his famous Seven Words You Cant Say on Television (also classic). 0000001596 00000 n You dont. But theres a reason. Do you? Because at the end of the day, social media is just a bunch of zeros and ones floating around in cyberspace. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? So, maybemaybemaybe its not the politicians who suck. Bruce Lee was raised Catholic and Buddhist. They're your contacts. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand?
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